The Memorial Service, called Yizkor, is recited four times during the course of the year: on Yom Kippur and, in diaspora communities, on Sh’mini Atzeret, on the eighth day of Passover, and on the second day of Shavuot.
For such a well-known service, however, Yizkor is a relatively late liturgical development, and was possibly composed in reaction to the Crusades and the terrible loss of Jewish life in that dark chapter of history.
But whatever its origins, Yizkor is certainly in keeping with the serious mood of Yom Kippur and it is wholly appropriate to remember those departed individuals who have shaped and influenced our lives on the very day we seek to reconnect with our truest selves.
The Yizkor Service itself is a bit fluid, but generally consists of a collection of readings and recitations revolving around two central prayers: the individual Yizkor prayers, in which worshipers invoke God’s continued protection of the souls of those who have passed on, and the El Malei Raḥamim, the traditional memorial prayer that poetically expresses the hope that the dead rest in peace under God’s divine protection.
The chanting of the Ashrei and the formal ceremony putting the Torah scrolls back into the Ark are delayed until after the Yizkor Service, directly following Torah reading. The Musaf service follows Yizkor.
Personal Yizkor Customs
It is customary in many communities for individuals whose parents are still living to step out of the service during Yizkor.
Partially the result of a superstitious fear that remaining in the sanctuary would be to tempt fate and partially rooted in the feeling that those who have suffered terrible loss in their lives deserve some privacy in which to mourn publicly for their lost parents, spouses, siblings, or children, the unfortunate outcome in many congregations is a kind of mass exodus from the sanctuary right before Yizkor.
In the end, there is no halakhic or rational reason not to remain in the sanctuary during Yizkor. Even those whose parents are still alive will surely have lost friends or other relatives who are deserving of being remembered at this time.
And it is fully appropriate that every member of every Jewish community pause to remember those who perished in the Shoah, as well as Jewish martyrs of every age, during the Yizkor Service.
It is customary to give gifts of charity in memory of those remembered during Yizkor. Individuals who recite versions of the Yizkor service in which they formally pledge to give charity in honor of the specific people they are remembering should consider such gifts requisite.
Adapted with permission from The Observant Life.