My grandmother and I sit in the same synagogue, say the same prayers, and celebrate the same holidays, yet somehow, we grew up in two different versions of Conservative Judaism, and had two very different journeys.
My grandma was born in New York in the 1950s, and as a young child, attended synagogue for high holidays and Sunday school. From her childhood experience, being Conservative entailed only ever seeing men as rabbis or cantors, walking to synagogue instead of driving, and women typically not having bat mitzvahs. In 2025, as a young Conservative Jew, I have experienced the opposite of all of these things. While our experiences differ a lot, we both share similar memories of sitting in services, celebrating Shabbat, eating traditional Jewish food, and going to Sunday school every week.
My parents were both raised Reform, and have now belonged to a Conservative synagogue for over 15 years. My grandma’s parents both grew up Orthodox, keeping kosher and closely observing the religion. We both, however, had our religious upbringings come from a Conservative Jewish community.
My grandma’s Jewish educational journey ended at around 12 years old after not having a bat mitzvah. She didn’t truly reconnect with and redefine her Judaism until after her father passed away. She remarks that her father always emphasised the importance of a Jewish identity and raising a Jewish family. She felt the need to honor his wishes, since he was no longer around.
I’ve been enveloped in Conservative Jewish customs and values my entire life. I was practically raised at my synagogue: I attended preschool, Sunday school, Hebrew school, had my bat mitzvah, and now work as a Hebrew tutor there. I know that my Jewish identity is something that will never leave me.
After marrying my grandpa, who was Reform his whole life, my grandma became Reform as well. They weren’t overly religious, but always kept their Jewish values close. After the two of them had kids and moved to Florida, they went to a number of Reform synagogues, trying to find their place. My grandma was never fully happy with any of the local Reform synagogues, but stayed there for many years.
After my parents decided to join a Conservative synagogue to raise their children in, my grandparents followed in their footsteps. My grandma was back to her roots as a Conservative Jew, and got to watch her grandchildren grow up with a similar experience to what she had as a kid. My grandma claims that her biggest accomplishment as a Jew is watching her grandchildren develop a strong Jewish identity and be involved in such a special community.
A piece of advice she says is important for all young Jews is to realize how different we are as a people. Everyone is unique, but especially Jews: our fight, our history, our priorities, and our togetherness. No matter where she was on her Jewish journey, she always held Jewish values close. She has long agreed with the Jewish principles of family, knowledge, justice, and the TorahRefers to the first five books of the Hebrew Bible, the Tanakh, also called the Five Books of Moses, Pentateuch or the Hebrew equivalent, Humash. This is also called the Written Torah. The term may also refer to teachings that expound on Jewish tradition. Read more. I know that she is a big reason these same ideas are instilled in me, and the reason why I have such a deep Jewish connection.
The most surprising aspect of my conversation with my grandma was how much the Conservative Movement has really stayed the same. Nowadays, it is more lenient and flexible with beliefs and what is allowed in the community, but as a whole, it really never changed. If anything at all has changed, it has been for the better. Women are now rabbis and cantors, it is acceptable to drive to synagogue, and you can really be as involved as you want and you are still accepted no matter what. I imagine and hope that the next generation of Conservative Jews will have a similar, positive experience to mine and my grandmother’s, and take great pride in being a Jew.
This essay was submitted as part of Exploring Judaism’s L’Dor V’Dor Essay Contest. To learn more, or submit your own essay, go here.
