Growing Up
Little did my grandmother know that when she moved to Anaheim, California at 10 years of age, she would join the Orange County hub of Jewish life—a place that would become so important to her family. Temple Beth Emet, founded in 1956 just 10 minutes from Disneyland, was the center of her family’s life. While she attended a public school, the synagogue was the place where she made her best friends and met her husband, my grandfather.
Grandma still remembers the earliest days of the synagogue, when it operated out of a small house. She remembers helping to lay the beams of the building and walking across them, an experience which made Temple Beth Emet feel like a second home to her. Within five years, that small house transformed into a large synagogue, reflecting the rapid growth of the Jewish population in Orange County — fueled by people willing to donate, volunteer, and help build a home for Jewish life there.
Growing up, I thought that I was just following traditions. But now I see that I am part of L’Dor V’Dor, carrying traditions forward from generation to generation. Much of what I practice today comes from my grandparents, whose participation in Conservative Judaism shaped not only their children’s Jewish experiences, but mine as well.
Tradition and Change
For my grandma, Conservative Judaism meant attending synagogue, keeping kosher, observing holidays, and participating in youth programs like USY. Keeping kosher was very difficult, but an integral part of her family’s Jewish identity. Since there were no kosher butchers in Orange County, her family had to order meat from Los Angeles every 4-6 weeks — where they bought an entire side of cow that filled a whole extra freezer. They did not have a lot of money, so when yahrzeit candles burned down, they would clean them out and reuse the glasses as dinner table cups. These practices taught my grandmother the importance of maintaining Jewish traditions while adapting to the circumstances of the time.
For us today, Passover is the clearest example of L’Dor V’Dor, passing down traditions across generations. Every year our extended family gathers at my grandparents’ house for conversations, singing, kids running around, and the smell of each person’s dish. Grandma’s father used a Maxwell House Haggadah, as did many Jewish families at the time, and went through each page slowly, reciting every prayer and following every ritual.
While my grandmother read through the entire Haggadah and read word by word, as instructed by her father, we read more creatively today. We adapt, but still follow, every step of the seder — including the third and fourth cups, which many families now skip or abbreviate. My grandma remembers that when she was young, Passover was very special. Even though her family only had a very small table, they always invited many people over for seder. She also showed me her salt water and horseradish cups that have been a part of our seder for many years, and a “magic table” that expands to fit many family and friends. These holiday objects meant a lot to her growing up.
Every year for Passover, my grandmother would get a new outfit: a new dress and white patent leather shoes. Passover was when her family got new shoes for spring and summer. For her, Passover was not just a holiday or meal, but a time of family, tradition, and preparation for the upcoming year.
Although many of the traditions and holidays my grandmother has passed down have stayed the same, over this time period, the Conservative Movement has evolved in many beneficial ways. It has become much more egalitarian, giving men and women equal opportunities to read TorahRefers to the first five books of the Hebrew Bible, the Tanakh, also called the Five Books of Moses, Pentateuch or the Hebrew equivalent, Humash. This is also called the Written Torah. The term may also refer to teachings that expound on Jewish tradition. Read more, lead services, count in a minyan, and become clergy. When my grandmother became a bat mitzvah, she only did the Torah service and chanted haftarah. At my Bat Mitzvah, I led the whole service, read Torah, and read haftarah. My grandmother shared that in her time, girls received candles as a bat mitzvah gift, while boys received kiddush cups. These objects symbolized the different roles men and women were expected to play in Jewish life. Today, updated prayer books, greater inclusivity, musical instruments in services, and more accessible ways to convert all reflect how the movement is modernizing with the rest of the word.
As A Modern Jew
As much as things evolve, there are aspects of Conservative Judaism that my grandmother hopes will remain: commitment to learning Hebrew, Jewish education, synagogue literacy, bar and bat mitzvah training, Jewish camps, and the family gatherings that have shaped her life. She hopes that Conservative Judaism is preserved for future generations, because it fills an important role in between the Orthodox and Reform movements. As the smallest movement today, she worries about the movement’s future. However, she believes that keeping traditions, education and community strong will help ensure that Conservative Judaism continues to connect generations and play an important role in Jewish life.
Talking to my grandmother helped me understand how much Judaism is built on traditions, practices, and stories that we pass down. Hearing her describe her childhood showed me how many of her traditions I carry without even noticing—such as going to public school but still being a part of a very strong Conservative synagogue, or going to Jewish sleepaway camp at Ramah Ojai.
Our stories and lives are not identical, but they intertwine like the different strands of a Havdalah candle. That is what L’Dor V’Dor truly means to me: the continuity of Jewish life as each generation shapes it.
This essay was submitted as part of Exploring Judaism’s L’Dor V’Dor Essay Contest. To learn more, or submit your own essay, go here.
